I decided it is time to tell you about something that i am kind of ashamed about...
making myself sick to lose weight.
When i was in gr8 i stopped taking my insulin - but not so i would lose weight.
I just was sick ofinjections, tests. I didn't want my newteachers or friends to know i was a diabetic - and being skinny was just a bonus for a high school girl trying to fit in.

Then one afternoon on a dr Phil show they had a girl with diabulimia...this scared me, it was what i was doing i just didn't now it.
so after that i started taking my shots again right?
Wrong! Easier said than done.
Weight loss was a thrill ride for me, and i didn't know how to get off. Soon i started making myself throw-up after eating. I was on cloud no9!

Then a friend caught me throwing up, she told a teacher and with my permission she told my mom who got me the right help.

I started taking shots again, but today when i look in the mirror and i remember how skinny i was - it hurts...i want to be that skinny girl again. Sometimes the risk of going blind or loosing kidney function doesn't scare me. But dying alone...that scares the shit out of me!

So now i am trying to get my sugars under contro, eat healthy and take my shots. Its not eaasy, i haven't told my parents about not taking shots, have to sort that out on my own, meaning i am not sure about how much insulin i need to take when. I'll start it off on 10 units before meals and see where it takes me. Checking sugars regularly to avoid hipos.